Best Dating Apps for Introverts Who Prefer Books to Bars

If the thought of ordering a drink in a crowded bar or chatting with strangers at a party gives you the incomprehensible urge to jump out the nearest window, you’re an introvert, and that’s okay! We see you. We are you.

It’s no shame to be more comfortable with an e-book than in the city, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up a life of solitude, either. In fact, introverts are amazing partners, lovers, and friends, once we meet someone.

It may surprise you, but dating apps (and even some of the outdated dating sites that still exist) are the best position for introverts. On those platforms, you can show who you are without feeling the pressure. be constantly “active” as you would in a classic social setting.

Yes, it’s true that dating apps still get a bad rap as the last hotel for the desperate, but for introverts, those nifty little teams provide a much-needed buffer that allows us to slowly and comfortably get to know potential partners. To meet someone online, you can take the time to make the kind of deep and meaningful connections that come from success in today’s shallow, fast-paced dating culture.

Although we are big fans of online dating, especially for our introverted readers, not all dating platforms are created equal. Tinder, for example, is the complete opposite of what introverts serve. Its hookup-focused interface and “swipe left” style are a recipe for crisis for shy singles who prefer to get to know their partners before getting into bed. (If dating apps were places, Tinder would be the crowded sports bar. )

Instead, we found that dating apps like Hinge, OkCupid, and Match are much better suited for introverts. Unlike Tinder, those dating platforms inspire users to share a little more about themselves, from long profile bios to interest lists and market breakdowns.

So, to help you find your user, the one who will understand and appreciate you for who you are, we’ve rounded up the best dating sites for introverts like you. (Also, some possible options for connecting, as everyone has needs. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. )

If you’re an introvert in your 20s and 30s and are looking for something a little more extensive than Tinder (but not as serious as eharmony), we suggest looking into Hinge.

It’s designed for even the shyest singles to express themselves comfortably and authentically. With profile prompts, photos, videos, audio clips, and more, Hinge makes it easy to attach and start the conversation.

We chose Hinge as the most productive dating app for introverts in general, and we’ve made it even better with a new “Word Search” feature that allows you to erase express words and emojis from profiles and messages. This means that you have more about your online dating delights and can avoid any potentially triggering or unwanted content.

Unlike Tinder and other swipe-based apps, Hinge shows you one possible adjustment at a time. This way, you can focus on each user and see if you vibrate with them without feeling overwhelmed.

We also love that Hinge allows you to organize your interactions. You can like or respond to the parts of the profile that catch your attention and forget about the rest completely. Also, if you’re feeling a little embarrassed about setting yourself up right away, you can video chat first. It’s a wonderful way to get to know you without delay and you should give your number.

Read our full OkCupid review.

If you’re an introverted liberal and a compatible spouse who is rarely afraid to communicate vital topics, OkCupid might be the dating app you’ve been waiting for. It’s a network (we’ve discovered a lot of people between the ages of 25 and 34) where you can be honest, share your passions, and find someone who understands you, not just your photos.

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites and is rarely advertised as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty candid about it). It stands out from dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it a wonderful choice for introverts.

Unlike speed, swipe-focused dating apps (read: Tinder) that can seem exhausting for introverts, OkCupid encourages a more deliberate and considered approach to online dating. You can take your time to browse profiles, engage in meaningful conversations, and notice common interests before deciding if you need to sleep with someone. It is an area where you can be yourself, find your loved ones and build important relationships.

Read our full AdultFriendFinder review.

Read our full review of the match.

Match is the dating app for introverts who need to take it easy and meet genuine adults.

Most users are between the ages of 30 and 49, so you’ll most likely find other people who are well-established in their careers, have a clear idea of who they are, and are committed to anything meaningful. Also, since the over-50 organization is the fastest-developing demographic on the app, Match offers a varied pool of potential partners.

We chose Match as the highest-paying dating app for introverts because it understands that meaningful dating takes time. It’s the best thing about dating apps: neither too casual nor too serious, but best for making genuine connections at your own pace. And with top podcast host Jay Shetty as your new dating coach, you can expect even more guidance on your journey to finding your best match.

But even without Shetty’s wisdom, Match is still a winner for introverts. Match’s filtering features allow you to focus on other people who share your passions, whether it’s books, board games, or hard-to-understand indie bands. This means you can avoid awkward chatter and have important conversations right from the start.

Another easy-to-use feature of Match is incognito mode, which will allow you to browse profiles without knowing that you have seen them. This is a wonderful way to get acquainted with the network and see who piques your interest before you take the plunge.

Read our full eharmony review

If your dating dreams involve more than just a fleeting summer romance, harmony can be the price for lasting love. This app is designed for introverts who are in a position to take themselves seriously and find someone who truly understands them, someone they can build their life with (whether that means moving in together or dating). marry).

And, eharmony is classically a conservative dating site, the platform has been criticized for deviating from its classic path and embracing more inclusive features like same-sex dating (which is good news for the LGBTQ network).

We chose eharmony as the most productive marriage dating app because it goes beyond superficial swiping and focuses on long-term compatibility. It uses an ultra-smart combination formula that examines 32 other dimensions of compatibility. All you have to do is fill out your questionnaire, and boom, start getting matches based on more than just a superficial attraction.

The RelyID feature ensures that all users of the app are legitimate, so you can breathe easy knowing that you’re not talking to robots or fishermen. Plus, its privacy settings keep your profile hidden if you’re not compatible, which means you’re less likely to receive creepy messages from randos.

We know that starting a verbal exchange can be challenging for many introverts. That’s why we love eharmony’s well-considered communication technique. The app offers starters for verbal exchange about your personality tests, prompts, and uploaded photos, making it easy to break the ice and chat with your matches.

If you’re an introvert over 50 who knows that love doesn’t have an expiration date, SilverSingles could be the place to meet your perfect match.

It is specially designed for users who enjoy life under their belt and are not interested in gaming. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene after a long hiatus or to get married, SilverSingles can help you draft the next bankruptcy declaration of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

SilverSingles (a sister site to EliteSingles and Mashable, the best choice for the most productive senior dating app) is designed for people over 50 for serious and meaningful relationships. It has a strong focus on compatibility and only streams 3-5 games per week. day. This helps reduce stress and make it less difficult to concentrate on matches that are maximum probably a smart compatibility for you.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and dating goals. This allows you to fully perceive the potential suitability before starting a conversation.

Read our full Bumble review.

Bumble is designed for women and other non-binary people who need to take advantage of their dating experience. This allows them to take the first step, offering a refreshing option to classic dating apps.

With Bumble, women and other non-binary people may feel the frustration of receiving spam messages or finding inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you’re an introverted type, it saves you from having to come up with starters for verbal exchange. )

We chose Bumble because it flips the script from the classic dating dynamic, giving women and non-binary users the strength to make the first move. This is a great advantage for introverts because it takes the tension off them when starting conversations and offers a more comfortable and controlled dating experience.

Bumble relaunched its “First Move” feature in April 2024, giving users new icebreaker tactics. Women and other non-binary people now have the opportunity to define (or create) “opening moves,” which all their partners can respond to. This means no more annoying “hey. . . ” messages.

Bumble works with other dating apps, although with a few key differences. Matches expire after 24 hours, so you don’t have to worry about racking up a million unread messages. This helps you get things done and avoid that overwhelming feeling of having too many. options. Plus, thanks to its new AI photodetector, you can be sure that the other people you’re chatting with will show up too.

And for those times when you’re not necessarily interested in romance, Bumble has you covered. You can also check out Bumble BFF to find platonic friends and Bumble Bizz for networking.

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build authentic relationships with little to no effort.   Most users are really looking for something serious, so the combination of those points means that you find a large number of young professionals in their 20s and 30s on this app.   (It’s kind of like EliteSingles for millennials. )

CMB uses a set of rules that takes into account points ranging from fundamental data (such as location and age) to more nuanced criteria (such as social network and interests) to find potential partners that fit your preferences. This considered adaptation procedure is helping introverts. eliminating the need for extensive browsing and scanning, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless options, CMB organizes a unique appointment for each user daily. This technique allows for a more targeted and planned dating experience, giving users time to complete all potential connections. Additionally, CMB offers icebreaker questions to facilitate a graceful initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to go beyond the app and meet in person.

Read our relationship between eharmony and EliteSingles.

If you are an introverted workaholic, EliteSingles is the dating app for you. The platform is especially popular among knowledgeable and relatively affluent adults between the ages of 30 and 55. With a gender breakdown of 56% female and 44% male, EliteSingles offers a varied user base of over 12 million people. In large cities such as New York, it locates up to 800,000 users, at least, according to EliteSingles itself.

If you’re too focused on your career and introverted to find an offline date, this is a smart position to start.

We picked EliteSingles as the best dating app for professionals because it’s aimed at people who value intelligence, ambition, and finding a spouse who understands the hustle. But it’s not just for career-driven people: it’s also ideal. Selection for introverts for a deeper connection.

EliteSingles prioritizes compatibility over swipe. After you sign up, take a (surprisingly interesting) personality test that will allow you to compare yourself to other people who share your values, interests, and even your quirky sense of humor.

Since everyone on EliteSingles is looking for something a little more substantial, you’re less likely to find those dreaded one-word answers or endless chatter. Instead, you can connect with other professionals who perceive your need for quiet nights after a long week of work. Plus, with a user base packed with successful people in these fields, you’re more likely to find someone who also knows the ups and downs of your career.

Boo is ideal for introverts looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections rather than superficial chatter.

It’s going the extra mile when connecting with other compatible people based on your personality type. Through a thorough personality test, Boo digs deeper into your personality and makes sure you’re in touch with other people who truly understand you.

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as inspiration for their logo), it would be Boo. These online dates combine the most productive elements of both worlds, providing an exclusive combination of social media and microblogging features.

Boo offers a more intimate and organized enjoyment for those who like calmer and more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, called “universes,” you’ll be able to immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you’re a bookworm to other literature enthusiasts, a video game enthusiast to your teammates, or an art lover to connect with other creatives, Boo has a global matrix waiting for you.

Lex is a social media platform that welcomes anyone who identifies as a component of the LGBTQ network (although the user base tends to lean towards lesbian and non-binary people). It provides a platform for queer friendship, networking, and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or taking selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through private “ads” and notes about their privacy, interests, and the type of spouse they’re looking for.

Lex is not a dating app; rather, it’s an informal gathering place where other LGBTQ people can connect and build community. You don’t have to worry about the best profile pictures or clever opening lines. Just be yourself and see who you vibe with.

You can post, edit and delete private classified ads whenever you want, while sharing your thoughts, interests and desires. And while other people were disappointed when Lex moved from dating to friendship and networking in early 2023, do it. Don’t worry: the founder promises there’s still plenty of room for passionate messages.

“We inspire Lex users looking for dates and hookups to keep posting interesting messages on Lex!It’s their area to connect for love, friendship, and more,” Lex founder Kell Rakowski told TechCrunch.

The overall environment is low-key and pressure-free, which is ideal for introverts who feel defeated by the typical dating scene. Plus, it’s absolutely free, so you have nothing to lose.

If you’re a shy user too willing to put yourself out there (for fear of ghosting, rejection, or awkward first dates), it might be worth considering an AI dating app like Iris. ‘to be judged.

This AI dating app takes you through 3 stages of “testing” to see which facial features you find most attractive. Use this data to select potential matches, expanding your chances of finding who sparks authentic charm and sparks a connection without having to sift through countless profiles. .

Unlike classic dating apps, Iris takes into account your personal tastes and learns what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy but cool way, we’ll let you upload photos of other people that you find to create a more personalized matching experience (but only if necessary). And, to get to know you better, it gives you the opportunity to specify why you were successful or liked someone’s profile to further refine your matches.

But it’s not just about appearance. Iris also tries to satisfy your interests by filling in fields and provides “flavors,” necessarily tags that allow your profile to speak for itself. It also introduces a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile, the higher your rating. In addition, all users will need to go through a selfie check to ensure their authenticity.

We didn’t like the geolocation feature as it can show matches well beyond your distance, but for creators that distance shouldn’t be a barrier to locating genuine connections.

Happn is a dating app aimed at hopelessly romantic introverts who are drawn to the magic of lost connections. If you dream of encounters of possibilities and encounters of possibilities, this app can simply be your virtual fairy tale.

The app appeals to a younger, swipe-oriented audience, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and stable monthly growth, happn has built a sizable user base that offers plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with others who are in the real world.

It’s hard to fall in love at first sight when you’re too nervous to introduce yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you about other users nearby. This feature is especially useful for introverts who would likely have difficulty meeting strangers in public places.

Happn acts as a virtual companion, alerting you to potential matches you encounter in situations, such as exercising or at a café. If you need to find love in your network (and with others who potentially share similar hobbies and schedules), this is the app to get you started.

Zoosk caters to a wide diversity of people, but it is far from a decent dating site. If you feel like you are running out of options, this is the most sensible option for introverts who need to explore the world of online dating.

The concept behind Zoosk is that it starts to perceive you more and more over time to help you introduce yourself to the user you can spend the night with or the rest of your life, because the site’s unique set of rules recognizes your user tastes through the moves you make. Array: The only challenge is that there don’t seem to be many humans actually employing the website. Once you log in, realize that while Zoosk would have possibly been a wonderful place to meet other people in the past, it’s now a shadow of its former self.  

Features like SuperSend, which sends a message to a large number of users at once, can technically start a conversation, but they’re necessarily Zoosk’s built-in edition of a spam message. We can’t believe the introvert who would need an organization of other people to communicate with them when they don’t even know if they need to communicate with them in the first place. Zoosk’s features, which include messaging, are the cause of its exorbitant subscription fees. For a site that doesn’t seem current, we find it hard to recommend it.

Read our full Zoosk review.

We know that dating can seem challenging, especially for introverted lovers. That’s why we’ve spent a lot of time testing the best dating sites and apps for introverts, particularly looking for those that will help you find someone who understands you.

This is how we discovered the one from:

Tailored to your unique personality: We didn’t just create a single profile: we created several, each with other details, to see how the app’s ruleset would suit diverse personalities and preferences. We seek to make sure that those apps can connect you with someone who does indeed understand your introverted side.

Usability, privacy features, smart fortune rate, and overall vibe: We looked for sites that were easy to use and featured strong privacy features (no one needs to feel defeated or exposed). We also made sure that the sites had smart tracking. History of helping others find meaningful connections.

User Reviews: We have read countless user reviews to verify that the sites are valid and working. We wanted our recommendations to be really useful.

Features that facilitate (and keep) conversations: We look for sites with features that facilitate and keep conversations interesting and enjoyable.

Practice Tests: We tested many of the sites on our list to see firsthand how they work and how they would appeal to introverted daters.

Yes! Online dating is wonderful for introverts because it allows them to take their time to get to know each other and talk on their own terms. Whether you’re a sociable, reflective, anxious, or restrained (inhibited) introvert, online dating gives you the opportunity to be yourself without thinking too much about your interactions. Instead of worrying about chatting or finding the courage to meet in person, you can settle on the couch and explore potential matches at your own pace.

Bumble is the most productive app for shy men due to its prominent female-centric (and non-binary) messaging system. But with recent discussions about relaunching and potentially converting its ability to allow either party to initiate conversations, this feature would possibly disappear in the future.

Dating is complicated regardless of your personality type, but introverts can find it more complicated due to their tendency to prefer solitude, their need for deep relationships, and their discomfort with small communication and socializing in large groups. By using a dating app like Hinge or happn, introverts can feel more integrated in their interactions and interact with others in a more comfortable and manageable way.

Bethany Allard is a Los Angeles-based Mashable business reporter covering good looks, technology, dating, sex and relationships, and headphones. This means she combs her hair a lot, browses a lot of dating apps, and puts on a lot of other headphones. In addition to testing and rounding up the most productive products, she also covers deals for Mashable, paying special attention to Apple’s deals and prices. This wisdom comes in handy when she covers grocery shopping holidays like Prime Day and Black Friday, which she has done for 3 years at Mashable.

She graduated from New York University with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and English literature. You can follow her on X @betallard and contact her via email at [email protected].   In her free time, locate her by betting her Switch, spending time with her cat Mila, or cooking anything new in her kitchen.

Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, editor, search engine optimizer, and content strategist. In addition to writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor of DO YOU ENDO, a virtual magazine written through other people with endometriosis, for other people with endometriosis. She holds a master’s degree in art editing and critical journalism from the New School of Social Research and is a graduate of the Sextech School. You can locate more of his paintings in online publications, adding National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.

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